Learn To Love People The Way They Need To Be Loved

Because we all have different ways of saying, “I love you”.

Photo by JoelValve on Unsplash

Do you ever find yourself wondering how to love your partner? You know, the feeling of wanting to do whatever’s necessary to express your appreciation for them in a meaningful way.

If you’re anything like my former self, your response will be something like “all the time.” But there’s one big problem: you have no idea how to start.

Thankfully, there is a solution. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman speaks about the importance of expressing your love in a way that your partner will genuinely appreciate. Quoting the book:

“If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.”

So below are several ways to show appreciation towards your partner. These methods helped me to understand how my partner wants to be loved, which massively improved the quality of my relationship. I hope they do the same for you, too.

Spend Time With Your Partner.

One of the best ways to show your partner appreciation is by making time in your schedule to be with them. For example, you could go out for an evening walk, watch a movie together, or anything else that they’d enjoy.

When you spend time together, it gives you both an opportunity to make conversation, create beautiful memories, and enjoy every second in each other’s company.

So if your partner is someone who enjoys being with you, they’ll certainly appreciate you making an effort to spend more time with them each day.

Give Them Affirmation.

Some people love the idea of being complimented on their looks, career, and any other aspect of their life. So if your partner is someone who enjoys receiving praise, complimenting them more frequently is a great way to express your appreciation.

For example, you could compliment them before going on out for the evening or send a random text saying how grateful you are to have them in your life.

So during moments when you want to express appreciation towards your partner, giving them positive affirmation is a great way to say, “I love you.”

Help Your Partner

When you’re able to lighten your partner’s workload, it can make them feel appreciated as you’re willing to do anything to alleviate their stress levels.

Although you may be busy throughout the day, simple tasks such as doing the dishes or cooking dinner will show that you appreciate having them in your life.

So instead of refusing to help out around the house, remember that a few simple acts of kindness will help to exemplify your unwavering love towards your partner.

Send Them Gifts.

I always thought that sending gifts was something only to be done on Christmas & Birthdays. After all, I’d never previously been in a relationship with someone who genuinely appreciated gifts outside of special occasions.

However, I’ve since learned that sending your partner gifts is a great way to show that you consider them a priority and that they’re always on your mind. For example, you could send your partner flowers, chocolates, or anything else that they would enjoy.

So if your partner is someone who loves receiving gifts, consider buying them a small present (or experience), so they can feel loved throughout the year.

Be Intimate With Your Partner.

Whether it’s having regular sex or holding hands in public, some people naturally prefer intimacy as a method of receiving affection from their partner.

If your partner prefers being loved in the form of intimacy, think about how you can be intimate more frequently as the quality of your relationship will massively improve.

Most people don’t have amazing relationships because they aren’t willing to do anything necessary to understand the best way of expressing love towards their partner. In the words of Stephen R. Covey:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

So instead of spending my time wondering how to love my partner, I’ve realized that understanding their preferred way of receiving affection is the best place to start.

So every day, ask yourself: “What can I do today to express my love in a way that my partner will find meaningful?”

That’s how to love someone the way they need to be loved.

I write for people who want to live a happier life in the modern world. Let’s chat: Mattlillywhitemedium@gmail.com

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