How To Tell If You’re Dating A Boy Or A Man

These subtle signs can help you differentiate between the two.

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Photo by Mikael Frivold on Unsplash

A lot of men seem great when you initially meet them. But after a short amount of time, you quickly realize they’re basically a kid who doesn’t know how to act like an adult.

They’re not the type of person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Instead, they align much closer to a child with a complete inability to cook. You deserve more than pop tarts for breakfast.

Some guys you date will act like little kids. Others will (hopefully) act a lot more like men. So the question is: how do you tell the difference?

Several signs can help you to differentiate between boys and men whilst you’re dating. Here they are:

Boys Are Immature. Men Embrace Their Responsibilities As An Adult.

“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals.”― Michael Bassey Johnson

I was talking to my close friend on Zoom for a few hours last night. Let’s call her Olivia. She spoke about her frustration while dating. She wants to find someone who knows how to behave in formal situations and treat her well. But everyone she’s met so far has very little emotional intelligence or maturity.

If a guy makes you feel like you’re back in high school or college again, he’s probably a boy. They’re often immature and lazy. Sure, boys might look like a fully grown man. But in reality, they have the emotional intelligence of a five-year-old.

On the other hand, men embrace their responsibilities. Although they might not have everything in their life figured out, they’re putting in the work to make progress towards a better future. They value stability, honesty and trust their partner with anything and everything.

When you meet a genuine man, you’ll know.

Boys Are Afraid Of Love. Men Want To Commit.

“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” — Cornel West

You’re (probably) not in high-school anymore. So don’t accept high-school standards of love. You deserve way more than that.

Boys will act all shy around you and refuse to talk about the topic of love because they’re genuinely afraid of it. They often want to satiate their sexual desires without having to commit to one person. That’s why a lot of boys speak to 12 different women at a time.

Meanwhile, men are the opposite. They will say that they love you. They’re incredibly proud to have you by their side as they want to be with you for the rest of their life. Men don’t keep their emotions to themselves. Instead, they tell you exactly how they feel.

Boys Are Indecisive. Men Know What They Want.

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” — William James

A lot of boys are great at playing games. I’m not talking about football, soccer, or basketball. I’m specifically referring to mind games. They often want to keep their intentions quiet. They want to leave you guessing and questioning everything they do.

Men know exactly what they want. They’re often pretty upfront about how they genuinely feel. If something is wrong, they’ll tell you. After all, it’s impossible to improve a relationship if the other person doesn’t even know a problem needs to be solved.

Boys are indecisive and uncomfortable to be around. Men will enable you to feel extremely comfortable whenever you’re together.

Boys Interrupt During Conversations. Men Listen.

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus

The truth is that most boys don’t know how to have a proper conversation. Of course, they hear what you say. But a lot of the time, they’re not listening. Instead, they’re just trying to come up with a response.

Boys take more interest in themselves than other people. They interrupt conversations just so they can say something. They want to be heard. But as a result, they never have great relationships.

On the other hand, men listen intently during conversations. They enjoy having an interesting discussion with you and genuinely care about what you have to say.

Final Thoughts

Once you understand the above points, it’ll be much easier to tell if you’re dating a boy or a man. To recap:

  • Boys are immature. Men embrace their responsibilities.
  • Boys are afraid of love. Men want to commit.
  • Boys are indecisive. Men know what they want.
  • Boys interrupt during conversations. Men listen.

Pay attention to your partner’s behavior. Do they treat you with the respect and love you deserve? If the answer to that question is no, they’re probably an immature boy who needs to grow up.

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