How To Talk To Your Partner About Money

Talking about finances can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Do you ever feel like talking to your partner about money is difficult?

According to research published by CNBC, “people are 10 times more likely to break up if they think their partner is bad with their finances.”

In situations like these, I’ve noticed that the best way to handle delicate conversations is by being empathetic to your partner’s point of view. Because if you’re not willing to understand the rationale behind their financial situation, it’s challenging to find a solution.

Below are several strategies that have allowed me to have positive conversations with my partner about money. Each of these methods changed my life when it comes to being empathetic about finances in a relationship. Hopefully, they will change yours, too.

An honest conversation about money can only happen when you’re both transparent about your financial situation. For example, talking about how much you earn each month, the amount currently in your checking account, and a list of typical expenses.

When I first began discussing finances with my partner, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders as my entire situation was laid out for them to see.

Although you may find this process to be uncomfortable, it quickly helps to create a framework of honesty in your relationship to prevent unpleasant arguments about money from happening in the future.

Once you are both aware of each other’s financial situation, you can then begin to discuss the logic behind your current spending habits.

For example, you might be spending several hundred dollars a month on surfing lessons as a way of simultaneously relieving stress & increasing your general fitness.

I’ve discovered that on paper, someone may look like they have irrational spending habits. But once you take some time to discuss their rationale, there are often good reasons as to why they are spending money on certain things.

Now that you both have a clear understanding of each other’s situation, it’s a good idea to discuss your financial goals and anything that you’re currently saving for.

Within my relationships, I’ve noticed that this strategy provides a sense of hope for the future. Because even if your finances currently aren’t great, it gives you both something to work towards over the coming years.

As an example, I’m currently saving up for a trip around the entirety of the United States & Canada. So whenever I receive a paycheck, I set aside a percentage of my earnings to help fund my travels.

When you choose to understand, instead of criticizing your partner’s financial situation, your entire life will change due to a new foundation of trust within your relationship. In the words of the Dalai Lama:

“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.”

If you want to talk to your partner about improving their finances, you first need to understand the rationale behind their spending habits and work together to improve the situation.

That’s how to make conversations about money within your relationship more pleasant.

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