How To Stay Single
The complete guide to staying out of a relationship.
“It’s better to be single with high standards than in a relationship settling for less.” — Anonymous.
I currently live by that quote. Maybe you also agree with what it says. But these inspirational words on a page tend to distract us from what’s important: happiness.
Before you click away from this article thinking that it’s gonna be another cliche story, hear me out.
The concept of happiness is considered so profound & straightforward that we hardly take a moment to reflect on what we genuinely want for our future.
A cute house in the suburbs with a puppy?
Travelling around the world helping disadvantaged children?
Or falling in love with somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with?
I have a confession to make: I’ve been single pretty much my entire life.
Let me explain why.
- I was always the last to be chosen in the high school sports team.
- I was the guy sitting alone in the corner of the lunch hall, and too shy to approach anyone.
- I was scared of being rejected, or worse, being laughed at for merely mustering up the courage to approach girls.
You’d think that these events would force me to read dozens of self-improvement books so I can approach that cute girl in the street with extreme confidence.
That’s not what happened.
Instead, I focused on what I wanted in life, what I wanted to achieve, and adopted a “whatever it takes” mindset to accomplish it.
On Medium, you will have seen countless stories with similar titles such as:
- 21 tips to make you perfect for a relationship.
- 12 tips for creating passion & intimacy with anyone you meet.
- How to be the perfect lover in your relationship.
This is a short-list of many, many, many articles that I found while scrolling my recommended section. In a world of sensationalism & clickbait, people are always striving to create the perfect title that will attract the most readers, gain the most fans, and potentially earn them the most money.
I don’t blame them. In fact, I respect those writers for sharing their advice with the world.
But before we proceed, be honest with yourself: Are you currently happy with your relationship status?
I am going to give you the honest truth about why I’m currently single. What follows is simply a documentation of my current situation and the actions I took, which led me here.
I hardly go outside & I don’t feel guilty.
When it comes to meeting new people, going outside is pretty much a prerequisite for getting started. Before you highlight & respond to my story telling me to download Tinder, I am aware of the app. It’s just not my kinda thing.
You see, I’m the type of guy which enjoys sitting down on my MacBook, eating beautiful pizza, and watching my favorite show on Netflix. I don’t want to go to clubs, parties, or festivals. I’m happy doing my own thing.
I’m waiting for the right person.
At least, that’s what I like to think. I recently dropped everything, moved to Canada (within a months notice), and am currently trying to make this Medium writing gig work so that I don’t go broke due to not having a “real job”. I’m spontaneous like that.
So part of me is hoping that I’ll eventually meet someone who loves to travel at a moments notice. Quite literally, I’d like to book a flight to Alaska tomorrow. We’ll see.
(Update: I did not book a flight to Alaska as I currently can’t afford it).
I spend my entire day working on projects.
The whole concept of “work-life balance” doesn’t exist in my life. I can’t change who I am; that’s just how it is. Part of me is looking for someone who understands the work ethic of an entrepreneur, and the sacrifice required to chase a dream. Things may change in the future… but it’s pretty hard to find someone who understands this way of thinking (from my experience).
I’m genuinely scared of rejection.
Part of me wants to be in a relationship. I can’t help but imagine how incredible it would be to walk around Vancouver, with someone I love standing right next to me. We’d be going to the mountains, whale watching trips, and a lot of other awesome stuff which couples do. But here’s the problem: I’m genuinely worried about rejection. That fear has remained with me for years, and I can’t see it going away anytime soon. Oh well.
Being single is a choice. After all, I could sign up for Tinder right now if I simply wanted sexual gratification & pleasure.
But that’s not what I want. I don’t care about the cute Instagram selfies, the incredible sex, or being able to wake up to the person I can call my lover each morning. Okay, all of that would be great, sure. But it’s not my priority.
I care about happiness. Getting into a relationship for the sole purpose of being in a relationship is not going to make me happy.
Until the time comes when someone comes into my life who can make me incredibly happy, I will remain single. No matter how long it takes.
I’m going to leave you with a quote that talks about being fulfilled in life:
“If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not from your lover.” — Anonymous.
That’s why I’m single.