How To Pick Up The Pieces Of Your Broken Heart

If you want to overcome heartbreak, here’s what you need to do.

Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash

How do you pick up the pieces of your broken heart?

It’s a delicate question with a complicated answer. Despite thinking that you’d be with someone for the rest of your life, you currently find yourself feeling like you’re not good enough, and will forever remain single until the day you die.

I’ve found myself in the same position as you many times. But instead of wishing the past would change, I’ve discovered that a better solution is using the situation to focus on what matters, so you can begin creating a better life.

Below are a couple of strategies that I’ve used to get through a breakup. Each one of them enabled me to use heartbreak as an opportunity to improve my circumstances, and I hope they do the same for you, too.

Accept The Situation.

The Greek Philosopher, Epictetus, once said, “it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Sure, you can spend your days wishing things could be different, but that thought process won’t do anything to improve the situation.

Why? Because if you’re continually looking back, you’re never looking forward to the opportunities that lay in front of you.

You’re not thinking about how you can use this situation as a chance to improve your current self and become the type of person that your ideal partner would love. Ryan Holiday said it best:

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”

If you cannot change a situation, you must accept it.

You must use this moment as a chance to reflect on the actions necessary to become the person you need to be.

Only then can you realize that this heartbreak is temporary — and is merely an opportunity to improve your current condition.

Don’t worry about the past. Because when you accept what you can’t change and focus on what you can, you’ll realize that the only person preventing you from living a happier life is yourself.

Focus On Your Priorities.

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, once said that “very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within your way of thinking.” So if you want to begin rebuilding your emotional wellbeing, you first need to focus on prioritizing the things that matter.

I’ve discovered that when your mind is occupied with being grateful in the present moment, it’s much more difficult to worry about past events such as a breakup.

Begin by thinking about your ideal relationship and what you can do to make it a reality. For example:

  • If you want a partner who values honesty & integrity, begin by implementing those qualities into your current relationships with family & friends.
  • If you want a partner who enjoys traveling the world, start by learning a new language or visiting new cities around the country.
  • If you want a financially stable partner, read books on money management, so you don’t have arguments over finances in a future relationship.

Although breakups are incredibly difficult to experience, they allow you to evaluate your life and adjust your actions to create a better future. In the words of Seneca:

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”

If you want to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, first accept the events that you cannot control, and focus solely on what you can.

Remember: although you can’t change the actions of other people, you can always use this moment as an opportunity to improve your condition.

I write for people who want to live a happier life in the modern world. Let’s chat:

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store