5 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

Especially if you want to see them again.

Photo by Shamim Nakhaei on Unsplash

I used to be terrible at dating.

Having struggled with social anxiety for the majority of my life, I always found myself running out of exciting things to say, desperately trying to avoid an awkward silence.

But since learning to become a lot more confident while dating, I’ve learned that it’s better to keep my mouth shut than to potentially say something that could ruin the evening. In the words of Cato:

“I will begin to speak when I have that to say which had not better be unsaid.”

Below are a collection of things I’ve learned that you should never say on a first date.

Each of these insights helped me to understand that what you don’t say is equally as important as what you do. I hope you’re able to learn from them, too.

“Wow, You’re Able To Eat A Lot!”

I used to believe that this was appropriate to say while on a date at a buffet in Vancouver. But after being (literally) slapped around the face with a slice of pizza, I have learned from my mistakes.

As most people reading this will agree, this statement is disrespectful.

Buffet dates are an exciting concept as you’re forced to act like you can’t eat the entire menu in one sitting.

But even if you’re impressed with how much your date can consume, it’s a good idea to keep those thoughts to yourself.

“I Searched You On Facebook, So I Knew What To Talk About.”

As I grew up with anxiety, finding interesting conversation topics was something I considered to be complicated.

So naturally, I took a quick look at their profile before meeting them so I could mentally prepare some questions they’d find somewhat interesting.

Even if you do search your date on Facebook (or any other social network), it’s a good idea to avoid mentioning it. Although you have good intentions, it may come across as creepy.

“My Favorite Restaurant Is Starbucks.”

While on a sophisticated date at a fancy restaurant, saying that Starbucks is your favorite place to eat may not necessarily be a good move.

I’m personally a big fan of grabbing a large Americano with a cheese toastie each morning while sitting down to get some work done.

But despite a lot of Canadians visiting daily for a coffee, It’s just not seen as an excellent location for fine dining.

Then again, that doesn’t surprise me.

Whenever you’re asked about your favorite restaurant on a date, try and come up with somewhere a bit more classy than Starbucks.

Trust me; you don’t want to make the same mistake.

“Do You Mind Being In My Vlog?”

During the summer of last year, I went through a phase where I was vlogging pretty much everything.

No matter whether I was going to the mall or somewhere mundane such as the grocery store, every moment was going on camera.

So when I asked my date if she wanted to be in my vlog, it understandably didn’t go very well.

I’ve since learned that it’s essential to be respectful of people’s wishes, and don’t get mad when you have to delete a piece of footage after they refuse.

“We’re Gonna Have Cute Kids.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how saying this could go down terribly on a date.

Although sparks may be flying, it may be too early in the relationship to begin talking about having kids and being together for the rest of your lives. So take a moment to relax, progress naturally with the conversation, and try not to get too far ahead of yourself.

Since learning each of these lessons, I’ve recognized the importance of being mindful of how your date may react to a particular statement. But don’t overthink the process. Try not to over-analyze every word that comes out of your mouth.

Just do whatever comes naturally to you, and everything else shall fall into place.

I write for people who want to live a happier life in the modern world. Let’s chat: Mattlillywhitemedium@gmail.com

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