6 Things You Wish You Knew Before Having Sex For The First Time
Harsh truths we can all relate to
“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.” ― Richard P. Feynman
What was your most awkward moment when having sex for the first time?
Did you forget how to put on a condom? Were you questioning when you were supposed to orgasm? Or forgot to use lube during anal & had a literal pain in the ass for several days?
You see, sex is not like porn (at least for the first few times). The majority of society seems to think that it will provide mind-blowing orgasms and the incredible feeling of being intimate with another person.
But for a lot of people around the world, the opposite is true;
We are awkward. We are nervous. We are unsure what to do, where to put it, or how long sex should last.
Who can relate?
Having sex for the first time is often the first opportunity to establish an inconvenient truth: most of us sucked.
Despite our initial intentions, we were not sex gods. Nor were we able to fuck continuously with endless amounts of energy, passion, and lust.
It just didn’t happen.
So without further delay, here are 6 things you probably wish you knew about having sex for the first time.
We All Get Nervous
The first time I had sex, I was genuinely terrified. The thought of being intimate with someone was great (don’t get me wrong). However, I’m a perfectionist; I don’t like to screw up.
Those of you who have vivid memories of your first time will have probably experienced something similar. The fear of judgment from the other person of our bodies, and the thought of “what if I’m not very good” is enough to make anybody apprehensive.
Which reminds me…
“Fake It Till You Make It” Is A Bad Idea
If you’re inexperienced in the bedroom, it’s okay — don’t worry about it. However, pretending you’re a “sex god” is just going to be embarrassing when the person you’re having sex with realizes you have no idea what to do.
Likewise, texting your partner all the dirty things you’re going to do to them can be a complete anti-climax once they discover you’re unable to make them feel pleasurable.
And don’t get some last-minute ass-eating tips from Pornhub because…
Sex Is Nothing Like Porn
Seriously, this one came as a real shock to me.
A lot of what you see on those sites is performed by people who know what they are doing and have plenty of experience. It is not a real depiction of what your first time will be like.
I love Latinas. That’s just my type — even when it comes to relationships. Without going into too much detail, I was not performing like a pornstar during my first time having sex.
That is a great truth of life for many people around the globe.
Think back to the days where you were craving to be fucked, and wanting to orgasm continually. You imagined it as being the best feeling in the world. Sound familiar?
But if you’re like the majority of people, it was pretty anti-climatic. Speaking of which…
It Will (Probably) Be Painful
The best analogy I’ve heard is trying to fit a cucumber into a donut hole. Sure, it’ll fit… but only just.
The NHS (National Health Service) of the United Kingdom goes into detail surrounding why many women feel pain during their first few times having sex:
“When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. Sex may be uncomfortable if you’re not relaxed and aroused.
Make time for foreplay and try not to think of penetrative sex as the main goal. Penetration will be painful if the vagina is not lubricated. You can also try using lubrication.”
Don’t Rush To The Main Event
Everybody loves foreplay.
Whether you prefer being licked out, kissed on the neck, or anything else, foreplay is an incredible event in which you’re able to show the intimacy between you and your lover.
Take your time.
Make each other sexually aroused, wanting to touch every inch of your partner’s body. Enjoy the moment.
Just don’t forget to…
Use A Condom
Unless you want kids after your first time having sex, or want to deal with the arguments surrounding abortion, it’s a good idea to ensure you have protection.
Even if your partner says, “don’t worry, I’m on the pill, you don’t need one,” ensure you have multiple forms of contraception to minimize the chances of pregnancy.
I’m going to leave you with a quote from Billy Joel about the harsh reality of bad sex:
There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.”