4 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

It’s not a coincidence that you haven’t met your ideal partner.

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Photo by Jonas Svidras on Unsplash

How often do you wish you were in a relationship?

If you’re anything like me, you dream of falling love, starting a family with your ideal partner, and loving each other unconditionally for the rest of your lives.

But despite your best efforts, you’re not having any luck when it comes to finding your ideal partner. Because no matter how much effort you put into meeting new people, nothing seems to work.

It sucks.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that it’s pointless complaining about not being in a relationship. So a better solution is to identify why you’re single, so you can make the necessary changes to improve your dating life. In the words of Zig Ziglar:

“When you change your thinking, you change actions, when you change your action, you change your future.”

So below are several reasons why you may be having a difficult time finding a relationship. Each one of these insights helped me to improve every aspect of my dating life, and I’m sure they will do the same for you, too.

If you’ve previously been heartbroken, you might be reluctant to enter another relationship due to a fear that it may happen again. But if you’re continually letting your past define your future, it’s impossible to give anyone the necessary trust that you need for a healthy relationship.

As Seneca once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” So instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, take a moment to think about the beautiful relationship that will come to fruition when you open up your emotions to a loving partner.

Use this moment as an opportunity to strengthen your character & gain clarity on the type of person that you want to love. Because when you use adversity as a stepping stone towards creating a better future, your dating life will never be the same. Ryan Holiday said it best:

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”

If you’re currently trying to understand what you want, staying out of a relationship is a great idea. After all, you don’t want to commit to another person until you’re genuinely ready to fall in love & create the ideal relationship that you desire.

For example, when my girlfriend cheated on me last year, I needed a lot of time to heal from my emotional pain. But as I took the time to figure myself out, I stopped looking back at the past & focused on creating a future that made me incredibly happy.

You need to remember that being in a relationship won’t necessarily guarantee your happiness. After all, a great truth of life is that it’s impossible to love other people until you love yourself.

So take a moment to think about the qualities of your ideal partner, and the actions you can take right now to become the type of person that they’d want to love.

Because when you can gain clarity on what you want from a relationship, it becomes much easier to recognize your perfect partner when they eventually enter your life.

My social anxiety used to prevent me from starting conversations with anyone new, as I was afraid that they’d judge me for the insecurities that I saw in myself.

But I’ve learned that unless you’re willing to take risks while dating, and put yourself in more social situations, it’s probable that you’ll never meet your ideal partner. After all, if you’re not making a conscious effort to meet new people, it’s likely that they don’t even know you exist.

I know that it can be scary to put yourself out there and become vulnerable to someone you’ve never met. However, the only way you’ll meet your future spouse is by putting yourself in situations where they’re likely to be.

For example, if your ideal partner enjoys reading books, talking to more people at your local library is a great place to start.

Although it may be uncomfortable to have conversations with new people, you’ll discover that the effect it’ll have on your confidence & dating life is profound.

This might be a hard pill to swallow. But if you’re always searching for perfection, you’ll never find it. After all, it’s our imperfections that make us human & are a natural part of who we are.

So if you’re looking to find your ideal relationship, having realistic expectations is a great way to begin the process of loving each other unconditionally.

Because when you’re genuinely grateful for what you have, it’s challenging to wish for something you don’t. In the words of Mandy Hale:

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are, instead of what you think they should be.”

Remember: If you want to be in a relationship, start by identifying why you’re single, so you can change your life & create the future you desire.

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